Analyze This: A Totally Unscientific Guide to Handwriting Science
Here’s my analysis. Fanciful? Yes. Materialistic? Tell that to my two pairs of jeans.
I am, and have always been, a detective story junkie. When I was a kid, I used to scour yard sales for old Clue books (you’d be surprised how often they popped up). My favorite movie was The Great Mouse Detective. Even today, 90% of the books I read are whodunits (case in point: currently reading Ruth Ware’s One by One, a modern homage to And Then There Were None by the whodunnit queen herself, Agatha Christie). In my residual self image, I’m wearing a deerstalker hat and puffing on a pipe. Point is, I’m actually a super sleuth trapped in the body of a calligrapher… and perhaps that’s why I find graphology so crazy fascinating.
According to graphology, (which is just a fancy way of saying handwriting analysis), you can tell a whole lot about a person’s personality, mood and motives just by studying their handwriting. It’s worth mentioning up front that a lot of people consider graphology to be a pseudoscience… but that hasn’t stopped police departments all over the world from calling in graphologists to help in cases where notes are involved. So how does it work?
I recently read a book called Sex, Lies and Handwriting (I mean, seriously, how great is that title?) by Michelle Dresbold, one of the country’s top handwriting identification experts. She explained that your handwriting actually has very little to do with our hands; instead, it comes from our brains. Our brains determine the size, shape and slant of our words. The logic goes that because these patterns come from the brain, we can use them to interpret the psyche of the writer. Pretty cool, huh?
So that begs the question… what does YOUR handwriting say about YOU? Now before we dive into specifics, let’s get your handwriting sample. Grab a pen and piece of blank, unlined paper and write your signature and this phrase: “the quick brown fox jump over the lazy dog.” Done? Excellent. Scroll down and prepare to be analyzed.*
*Remember, I am not -- repeat NOT -- a scientist or psychologist. None of this should be taken seriously -- just for funsies!
What is the size of your handwriting?
1) Large. Chances are that you are an extrovert. You are sociable and expressive. You have a big personality.
2) Average. You are well-adjusted and adaptable.
3) Small. You are likely an introvert. You are introspective and focused.
How does your handwriting slant?
1) Slants to the right. You are a people person! You are open to new experiences and like meeting people. You are emotional and outspoken. If your writing is extra slanted, you may be Real Housewives emotional.
2) No slant. You are logical and practical. You don’t let your emotions get the better of you.
3) Slants to the left. You are a bit of a mystery! You tend to keep to yourself and prefer to work behind the scenes rather than seek the spotlight.
How are your letters spaced?
1) Far apart. You like your freedom, and tend to work better alone. You are friendly and generous.
2) Standard. You are socially adaptable. You can be enthusiastic, but also show restraint in social situations.
3) Close together. You don’t mind working in close quarters, but you may be known to crowd people. You are frugal and may also be a bit uptight (hey, don’t shoot the messenger).
Does your writing drift?
Handwriting is a lot like body language. If you’re standing straight up with a bounce in your step, you’re likely in a pretty good mood — the same is true if your writing drifts upward (1). If it drifts downward, you may be feeling a little blue or stressed (3).
How tall are your ascenders?
Ascenders correlate to what’s going on in your head. They represent ideas and intellect.
1) Short. You are pretty content with where you are. You don’t have any desire to explore new ideas.
2) Average. You are practical and realistic. You balance your aspirations with what you know.
3) Tall. You are ambitious and seek out new ideas and philosophies. If your ascenders are extra tall, you may not be the most practical or realistic person.
How long are your descenders?
Descenders correlates to your vitality. They represent your physical and material needs.
1) Short. You live a very controlled lifestyle. You have modest material and physical needs. Likely not much of a gym rat.
2) Average. You have standard physical and material needs, and get them met in standard ways. No spender benders or thrill seeking required.
3) Long. You are high energy and active. You also have a tendency to be materialistic.
Where do you dot your i’s?
1) To the left. You are prudent, reflective and maybe a bit shy. You can be indecisive.
2) Directly above. You are precise and practical. You are detail-oriented and organized.
3) To the right. You are curious and enthusiastic in your ideas. You have a quick mind, and can be impatient.
Are the loops on your o’s and a’s open or closed?
1) Closed. You are tight-lipped. You can keep a secret.
2) Open. You like to talk. Maybe not someone who should be trusted with a secret. Just sayin’.
So, whaddya think? Was the analysis pretty spot on? Or waaaaay off? Let me know in the comments below! Want to see my analysis? Head over to Instagram!
And oh, in case you’re interested in learning more about the super interesting world of graphology, you can check out the sources I used below. Happy scripting!
Sources
Dresbold, Michelle. Sex, Lies & Handwriting. Free Press, 2007.
https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/handwriting-101