How to Write a Thank You Note + 4 Fool-Proof Templates
BEFORE YOU READ:
Throughout November, I will be sharing tutorials and tips design to help you celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. But before we being, I want to acknowledge that the traditional narrative of the US version of Thanksgiving – that it was a peaceful feast between the Pilgrims and the people of the Wampanoag tribe – is grossly inaccurate and highly problematic. We cannot celebrate this day without acknowledging that the narrative we have been taught is whitewashing at its worst. We can, however, still find ways to celebrate without perpetuating the “Pilgrims and Indians” myth, but by instead focusing instead on values of unity and gratitude. I highly recommend reading this article in TIME by Sean Sherman, a chef, author and member of the Oglala Lakota Sioux Tribe, to learn more about the actual history of Thanksgiving and how to celebrate without glorifying a harmful myth.
Here in the US, November is a month of gratitude. While we, of course, show gratitude year-round, it takes centerstage in November thanks to our celebration of Thanksgiving. When you combine that with the upcoming holiday season of giving and receiving, I really can’t think of a better time to learn how to write a proper thank you note. And while the idea of writing a thank you note sounds simple enough, we often struggle with what to say.
So today, I’m sharing 4 of my fool-proof thank you note templates to help you show your gratitude in a sincere and meaningful way. But first, let’s take about the why and when of thank you notes.
The Why & When of Thank You Notes
A thank you note should be sent every time you receive a gift. Birthday gift? Note. Graduation gift? Note. Christmas, Hanukkah, new baby, wedding, anniversary, congrats on passing your driver’s exam? Note.
Some gifts, however, can just be acknowledged in person. Let’s say, for example, a friend gives you a gift and you’re able to provide a heartfelt thank you on the spot in-person. In that instance, it’s okay to forego the note (but it’s still a nice gesture). The one exception to the in-person rule is if it is at a bridal or baby shower. Even though you may have been able to say thank you in person, still gotta write the note.
But you don’t have to wait for a gift to send a thank you note! If someone has helped you in any way, a thank you note is totally appropriate and always appreciated. For example, maybe someone let you crash on their couch while you were traveling, or helped you move (what a saint!).
I am going to add one personal thought to this. When a family member passes away, those closest to them will often receive all sorts of gifts, like flowers and casseroles. Despite what etiquette says, I believe in this instance, no one expects you to send a thank you note. You are grieving. It’s okay to just say thank you and leave it at that. If you really want to send written acknowledgment of the gift, but aren’t feeling up to it, ask someone close to you to send them on your behalf. The same goes if you are ill.
When it comes to when you should actually send the note, there is some flexibility. Of course, the sooner you send the thank you note, the better. But the “better late than never” rule is also totally applicable here. If you received a birthday or shower gift, the thank you should be pretty immediate, but according to The Emily Post Institute, you have 3 months to send a thank you for a wedding gift.
I’m also going to add baby gifts to that 3 months rule, if the gift was received around or after the time of birth. As new parents, those first 3 months are a total blur, so cut yourself some slack. That being said, I do highly recommend acknowledging you received the gift immediately if it has been shipped to you. Even if that’s just a quick text in between diaper changes, it gives them peace of mind that their gift arrived safe and sound. Just don’t let that text replace the actual note.
My Foolproof Thank You Note Templates
Thank you, of course! End of blog post. Just kidding, there’s more! Not to brag, but I have been told I write the best thank you notes… okay, maybe I’m bragging a little. But it has nothing to do with the calligraphy. It’s because I place on emphasis on two things: acknowledgment and sincerity. I acknowledge both the gift itself, as well as the time and effort it took to give it. This is especially important if the “gift” isn’t something physical. I pair that with sincere gratitude that I illustrate with real life examples of how the gift has impacted me. I know this sounds a little woo woo and maybe a bit complicated, but I promise it’s much easier than you think!
Does this extra effort mean it takes a little longer to write the notes? Yes. But is it worth it? Totally.
Here are the basic formulas I follow with examples of each. Of course, the tone should change depending who you’re writing to, but this will give you a good place to start.
For Gifts, Items
TEMPLATE
Dear [GIFT GIVER],
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the [GIFT] you gave me for [OCCASION]. It has been [DESCRIBE HOW IT HAS IMPACTED YOU – EX. A COMPLIMENT MAGNET, SUPER HELPFUL, A TON OF FUN, ETC.]. In fact, [STORY ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE USED ITEM]. Needless to say, I love it.
I also wanted to thank you for taking the time to [ACKNOWLEDGE/HELP CELEBRATE] my [OCCASION]. You are [PERSONAL COMPLIMENT], and I am so lucky to have you in my life.
So thank you again for your generosity – it really does mean the world to me. I look forward to seeing you soon at [TIME/EVENT]!
Love,
[YOUR NAME]
EXAMPLE
Dear Alice,
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the gorgeous bouquet you sent when baby Harriet was born! They have been such a bright spot in our home, and smell absolutely incredible. In fact, new big brother Charlie sniffs them every day and declares “mmm, smells so good!” Needless to say, we all love them.
I also wanted to thank you for taking the time to help us celebrate the arrival of baby Harriet. You are such a thoughtful friend, and I am so lucky to have you in my life.
So thank you again for your generosity – it really does mean the world to me. I look forward to seeing you soon at the Sip and See – Harriet can’t wait to meet you!
Love,
Shauna
For Gifts, Money or Gift Cards
TEMPLATE
Dear [GIFT GIVER],
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the generous gift you gave me for [OCCASION]. I am using the [MONEY/GIFT CARD] to purchase [ITEM YOU PLAN ON GETTING]. I’m planning on [HOW YOU PLAN TO USE ITEM], which is great because [PROBLEM THIS HELPS SOLVE/WHY PLAN IS AWESOME].
I also wanted to thank you for taking the time to [ACKNOWLEDGE/HELP CELEBRATE] my [OCCASION]. You are [PERSONAL COMPLIMENT], and I am so lucky to have you in my life.
So thank you again for your generosity – it really does mean the world to me. I look forward to seeing you soon at [TIME/EVENT]!
Love,
[YOUR NAME]
EXAMPLE
Dear Aunt Maude & Uncle Harold,
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the generous gift you gave me for my graduation. I am using the Best Buy gift card to purchase a new laptop for college. I’m planning on using the laptop to take all my notes in classes, which is great because my handwritten notes are impossible to read!
I also wanted to thank you for taking the time to help me celebrate my graduation from high school. You have always been my favorite aunt and uncle (just don’t tell Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Clyde!), and I am so lucky to have you in my life.
So thank you again for your generosity – it really does mean the world to me. I look forward to seeing you when I come home for Thanksgiving!
Love,
Jack
For Gifts, Children
(One note here – if your children are old enough to write, have them write their own note with your help. Never too early to get into the habit!)
TEMPLATE
Dear [GIFT GIVER],
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the [GIFT] you gave [CHILD] for [OCCASION]. [PREFERRED PRONOUN] was so excited when [PREFERRED PRONOUN] opened it, and has been [WHAT IS BEING DONE WITH ITEM – EX. COLORING, PLAYING, WEARING, ETC.] ever since. The other day, [PROVIDE SPECIFIC EXAMPLE OF TIME CHILD USED GIFT]. Needless to say, [PREFERRED PRONOUN] loves it.
I also wanted to thank you for taking the time to [ACKNOWLEDGE/HELP CELEBRATE] [CHILD’s NAME] on [PREFEERED PRONOUN] [OCCASION]. You are [PERSONAL COMPLIMENT], and [PREFERRED PRONOUN] is so lucky to have you in [PREFERRED PRONOUN] life… and so am I!
So thank you again for your generosity – it really does mean so much to our entire family. I look forward to seeing you soon at [TIME/EVENT]!
Love,
[YOUR NAME]
EXAMPLE
Dear Jian,
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for the set of Legos you gave Elijah for his birthday! He was so excited when he opened them, and has been playing with them ever since. The other day, he built a huge barn for all his farm animals and proudly showed it off to every member of the family… multiple times. Needless to say, he loves them.
I also wanted to thank you for just taking the time to help us celebrate Elijah on his 4th birthday. You are such a great neighbor and influence on Elijah, and he is so lucky to have you in his life… and so are we all!
So thank you again for your generosity – it really does mean so much to our entire family. I look forward to seeing you soon at the block party!
Love,
Monique
For Non-Gift Thank Yous
TEMPLATE
Dear [GIFT GIVER],
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for [REASON FOR GRATITUDE]. It was [DESCRIBE FAVOR – EX. SUPER HELPFUL, A TON OF FUN, HUGE RELIEF, ETC.] and I really [FOR PARTY EVENT – CAN’T THANK YOU ENOUGH/FOR HELP WITH PROJECT – COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU].
I’m especially grateful for [SPECIFIC FROM FAVOR]. It really [DESRIBE HOW IT IMPACTED YOU].
I also wanted to thank you for being such a great [RELATIONSHIP]. You are [PERSONAL COMPLIMENT] and [PERSONAL COMPLIMENT]. I am so lucky to have you in my corner.
So thank you again for your generosity. And next time YOU need [FAVOR], I got your back. I look forward to seeing you soon at [TIME/EVENT]!
Love,
[YOUR NAME]
EXAMPLE
Dear Antonia,
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for throwing me a bridal shower! It was such a beautiful day and I really can’t thank you enough.
I’m especially grateful for all the time you spent making tamales. It really meant a lot to me that you would go to all the effort on top of everything else that throwing a party requires – and they were DELICIOUS. My friends talked about them for days after!
I also wanted to thank you for being such a great cousin. You are so thoughtful and generous, and I have always admired your commitment to helping family. I am so lucky to have you in my corner.
So thank you again for your generosity. And next time YOU need someone to throw you a party with complete with home cooking, I got your back. I look forward to seeing you soon at Sunday dinner!
Love,
Louisa
There you have it! I hope these templates will help make the thank you note writing process a little less intimidating. Remember, the most important things here are acknowledgment and sincerity. You want to acknowledge the time and generosity of your recipient, and you also want to provide specific and real examples of how their generosity has benefitted you. There’s no need to embellish here – they don’t expect that a new scarf or a $10 gift card to Starbucks has changed your life. They just want to know their gift is appreciated.
So what are you waiting for? Pick up some thank you cards and get to writing!